Taken recently at Clapham street fair, next village to Austwick Mum in good spirits. Sadly she died on 29th August after a very short illness, being admitted to Airedale Hospital the previous Wednesday. Everyone has been so supportive with flowers, cards and good wishes for Frank and I. Here is what I said at Mum's funeral:
Amy Dobson Deary -18th June 1926 – 29th August 2008
May I thank you and those whose thoughts are joined with us, so supportive, for being here to pay your respects to a remarkable lady, my mother Amy.
Some will know that my mother has been a very private person of recent years but this has not always been the case.
My Mum and Dad met in Sunderland, in their workplace, and had a successful marriage and business partnership of 48 years, which of necessity meant that they were at the bidding of others in a very public way.
I was brought up in a loving family, which of course had another dimension, my Nan Sarah, who came to stay for a fortnight which turned into 45 years! Being a very much wanted child I was always the focus of their love and support.
Not long after my birth Dad became very ill and in those early days survived major pioneering surgery, necessary as a result of catching an infection during his war service in Palestine, which resulted in the removal of part of his right lung. Times were difficult and resources were limited. But these were formative days much rooted in community life and surviving the challenges together.
Mum’s love for these Yorkshire Dales was long standing, having been “evacuated” to Kettlewell during the war years, to work long and demanding hours in the Bluebell Hotel under the mentoring eye of the late Mrs Butterfield.
I would say the relatively short time Mum Dad and Nan spent in “retirement” at Austwick were the happy times.
Although Dad took a little longer to settle into the daily routine, the discovery of the local Bowling Club certainly helped him. He missed his colleagues and the demanding public in the butchering business.
I am reminded of the plaque I noticed at the Watershed the other day, “Do you want the man in charge or the woman who knows what’s going on?” this very much represented their relationship.
My mother was the driving force, a very intelligent lady and although much to her regret not formally educated, she was more than a match for their competitors.
As the song says “life is a rollercoaster”, and Mums guiding light on her particular rollercoaster was her firm and committed faith and respect for Christian values.
She was uncompromising, coming from the Anglo Catholic tradition of the Church in England, being “a good and faithful servant” her spiritual being was very much enhanced by the encounters of the later Father Marshall and Archbishop Phillip Strong, at St Ignatius Church Sunderland.
There was also Father Leslie Barron of St Mary Magdalene’s, where my Dad was church warden, again my mother playing a major part in his duties!
Of more recent times the late John Dolby from Austwick, who was a real support for Mum when Dad passed away in 1994 and again when we lost Nan in 1999.
Dad’s premature death, Mum missed him terribly, the years of poor health taking their toll and although focused on her Mums needs, Mum found the burdens of widowhood almost too much to bear. However, her strength of personality and tenacity of spirit focused on me and her life in Austwick with Nan.
After Nan died Mum quietly got on with life, I had moved to Scotland to live and make my own contribution to the community but we talked on the phone everyday and although I visited regularly it did not really fully deal with her pining.
My visits did however help access one of her favourite occupations supermarket shopping.
Her friends and acquaintances in the village were a real support and this was reciprocated. She was a truly a worthy and caring neighbour, especially with Elaine, Roy and Olive.
Once again quietly looking after the family home and not so quietly putting community action into village life, helping to save the local bus service and the recent concerns in trying to maintain accessible health services, Mum’s life revolved around others, her faith, she called quietly into the church everyday and of course me and my life in Scotland.
Although having some health issues, she was physically robust and mentally very capable until the past few weeks, where those vital local health services came into their own, with the care she showed for others being shown to her.
The professional expertise of Dr Colin Renwick and his team could not prevent the inevitable and sadly a week tomorrow Mum’s rollercoaster ride ended, peacefully and in the dignified manner reflective of her persona.
So, as we say our goodbye I am reminded of some lines from “Billy Elliot – the Musical” where a letter from Billy’s late mother is read and his dance tutor remarks, “she must have been a remarkable woman” and he replied “nae she were just my mother”.
Perhaps if I was a 12 year old I might say the same but as I approach 59 years on my rollercoaster ride, I agree with that tutor, my Mum truly was a remarkable woman. I and many others will miss her greatly.
Your time in this veil of tears is over, you are with those you loved and who loved you, Mum rest in peace.
